Sexologist Tracey Cox reveals how to perfect your hand technique in the bedroom – and 10 hot new moves that EVERYBODY should try

Posted on April 26, 2018.

Of all the sexual techniques, women are most nervous about giving men hand stimulation.

Of all the sexual techniques, women are most nervous about giving men hand stimulation.

This is partly because we figure they’re at it all the time, so how could we possibly do it better than he can himself?

Which is ironic because the great thing about penises is that they’re usually happy no matter what you do to them.

The very fact that your hand is down there stroking him, will usually be enough to get the juices flowing – unlike vagina’s and clitorises, which are super-sensitive, contrary creatures, highly individual and finicky!

Sex expert Tracey Cox reveals the hand moves you and your partner need to add to your bedroom repertoire if you want to spice things up between the sheets.

But if you want to do it well, stimulating anyone’s genitals with your hands takes practice and skill – and all you need to know is here.

Let’s start by clarifying another huge difference between the two sex organs.

For women, gentle is nearly always best; for men, firm is invariably better.

What sends you orbiting into orgasmic heaven can leave him limp; what makes him groan with pleasure can have you yelping in pain.

So, if you’re a straight woman, you can probably up the pressure a bit.

I’m not suggesting you wring his penis with abandon or bend it willy-nilly (it’s attached, remember, and not made of plasticine) but you can probably go harder than you are.

Men should resist the urge to apply too much pressure when touching female partners, while women need to be a little more assertive with their movements, Tracey explains.

If you’re a straight man, tone it down a little.

She’ll soon let you know if your touch is so soft, she’s forgotten you’re even in the room.

As with any sex technique, the best way to get good at it is to task your partner to show you how they do it and imitate.

At the very least, guide each other by saying what feels good and what doesn’t – even a ‘harder’ or ‘move up a bit’ is better than nothing!


Use lube and don’t dive straight for his penis. Men like foreplay too!

Get into position Get him to stand in front of you or sit astride him. You need two free hands, not just one.

Use both hands One is around his penis, the other touches him elsewhere. Cup his testicles, tweak a nipple.

Or hold him firmly at the base with one hand and move the other up and down the shaft and head.

Get into a rhythm Make an open fist with your hand and move it up and down the shaft of the penis in a regular rhythm.

As you get to the head – which is where he feels it most – close your fist and glide over it, increasing the pressure a little.

Get him to show you what he likes by putting his hand over yours. Keep the motion smooth, consistent and firm.

Start slow and speed up as he approaches orgasm.

The faster and harder you masturbate him, the quicker he will orgasm.

Once you’ve mastered the basics, you’re ready for more advanced techniques…


Squeeze that tube of lube (generously) and then try…

Juicing: If he’s uncircumcised, hold the loose skin taut at the base of his penis with one hand, hold the shaft with the other, and slide upwards.

Squeeze and pulse several times on the way up.

Racking: Hold the base of the penis with one hand and his testicles with the other, palms turned to face his body.

Now move your hands away from each other – one hand strokes the shaft, while the other hand pulls down across his testicles.

Interlock: Interlock your fingers and cross your thumbs.

Put his penis in the middle, then glide your hands up and down the shaft, rhythmically squeezing your hands together as you do.

The piston: When he’s fully erect (and you don’t mind if he orgasms), start adding in a few quick hand strokes, from bottom to top and down again, fast and hard. Then go back to whatever you were doing before.

The quicker you want him to orgasm, the more you increase the number of piston strokes.

The polisher: Using plenty of lube, hold the base of his penis with one hand and put the open palm of your other hand on top of the head of his penis.

Close the top hand around the head and twist to and fro.

Women can try moves like ‘juicing’, ‘the polisher’ and ‘the piston’ to please their partners

Place your whole hand over the closed outer lips and rub in a circular motion to indirectly stimulate the clitoris.

When she’s aroused move your fingertips up and down the inner lips, in a long, slow, soft movement, grazing the clitoris – still covered by a little hood of skin – on your way up and down.

Hone in on your target – the clitoris – when she’s fully aroused.

Circle around it with one fingertip several times before sliding back down the inner lips again.

Get her to guide you by putting her hand over yours to show you what speed and pressure she likes.

If you’re too rough, too direct or stimulate for too long, too soon, it gets oversensitive and feels painful.

Concentrate exclusively on the clitoris only when she’s close to orgasm.

Try the vibration technique Place three fingers over the top of the inner lips, press firmly (but not too hard), then vibrate your fingers gently but rapidly and consistently or move them in a circular, vibratory motion.

The three golden rules for giving a woman a hand-job: keep it gentle, slow and regular.

Keeping up a steady rhythm for a long period of time, even if your technique isn’t perfect, will get you further than switching all over the place with the most adroit strokes.

Male hand stroking female chest, passionate lover caressing arousing beautiful woman lying on bed in black bra lingerie, man enjoying foreplay with sexy lady, sensual stimulation concept, close up; Shutterstock ID 1034151022; Purchase Order: –

The three golden rules for giving a woman a hand-job: keep it gentle, slow and regular, according to Tracey. 

Got the basics mastered?

Here’s some more advanced techniques…


Again, use lots of lube, then try…

Circling: Get them to use the pads of their fingers to make big circles around the clitoris, making them smaller when you’re aroused enough for more direct stimulation.

Drumming: They lightly tap along the length of the labia.

Stirring: They put two fingers inside (middle and index) and pretend they are stirring something to effectively stimulate the entire vaginal wall.

Zig-zag: They move one or two fingers gently but rapidly from side to side across the head of the clitoris (or the hood if it feels too intense).

Alternatively, get them to ‘march’ their fingers – move them as if you’re walking really quickly.

Pressing: With two fingers inside, they put the heel of their other hand on your abdomen, just above the pubic bone and press down. The added pressure feels fabulous – even better if you do this with a strong vibrator!

Source: Daily Mail