Someday, You Will Miss Me, And I Won’t

Posted on April 19, 2018.

To the man who broke me, Someday you will miss me.

To the man who broke me,

Someday you will miss me.

When you feel it, wait upon a starry night and say it aloud. Wish for your wish to come to me on the wings of wind- and hope I will respond.

I won’t.

Someday you will miss me, the way my voice sounded on the phone, the way I’d laugh at your jokes, the way I’d go ten octaves higher when excited about a recent piece and even, the way my voice would crack under duress. You will want to hear it all again- soak in the highs and lows- but your voice won’t reach where I am.

Someday you will think about me and taste bitter regret. You are going to remember the girl you loved and lost because you were busy chasing the things that would never love you back. You will wish you hadn’t let me walk away- that you could hold out your hand and ask me to take it, again. But I won’t be there and you’d be coming back, too late.

Someday, as you lie in bed alone, you’d relive all your mistakes and ask yourself where it all went wrong. You will think of how you broke me and if you could reach out and offer to fix me again. But that day, I won’t be broken. I’d have brought all my pieces together and stitched them back in place.

Someday, you will want to see me, not in the photograph you hold but in person. Wanting to see my nose crinkle when you say something silly and my eyes shine when you compliment me. But I’d have long stopped to be affected by your silliness and sweetness alike. I’d remember your stupidity in letting ‘us’ break- and that, too, would just be a distant memory.

Someday, you will miss the way we laughed, together. The way we looked at each other, full of love, hope. You will think of the future we could have had, everything we could be- the missed opportunities, the lost adventures, the stolen dreams. And you’d feel they don’t matter, when shared with another soul.

Someday, your friends and family will weigh you down with questions. They will ask you about me and why you pushed me away. Someday, they will let you know your smile doesn’t quite seem the same anymore and that those eyes always seem to be missing something. That day, you will stare at them in silence, as their faces morph into mine.

Someday, you would sink into the hollow of your bed, waiting for the void to swallow you whole. But memories of me with someone else, in some other place will keep you up. And you’d wonder if you let us down, too easy.

Someday, you will wake up to memories of me staying, even when you kept pushing me away. You’ll remember all I have done for you- and all the times I refused to give up. You’ll remember the pain you have put me through and you’d wonder if you could undo it. You’ll realize what you had when you had me, but I’d be waking up next to the guy who already knew.

Someday, you will find me in the arms of another, the smile on my face burning your heart, because you aren’t the reason behind it anymore. It will kill you to know it is me, it always was, and probably always will be- the girl you should have but don’t. And you will know what you lost.

Someday, the darkness shall drown you. You will try hard to look for me, but no matter where you look, you won’t find me. Someday, you will cry for me like I did. You’d want me to bring light, to bring life- but you’d remember every single thing you did to kill ‘us’ while we could still survive.

Because that someday, you will realize that there is only so many times you can let someone down before they will no longer bear that pain. That there is only so much hurt you can inflict, before something gives. And something’s got to give. And in that moment, the other person isn’t giving up- they’ve just stayed too long, far longer than they should have.

That someday, you will lose.

That someday you will miss me.

When you feel it, wait upon a starry night and say it aloud. Wish for your wish to come to me on the wings of wind- and hope I will respond.

I won’t.

Source: Newlovetimes